Minsan gusto ko nalang mawala, yung total disappearance from everyone’s memories. Yung para bang di ako nag exist. Ilang luha pa ba bago ako maanod mula sa mga alaala nyo? Aalis, lilipat, tatangayin. Anywhere but here, mga kapatid.



Numb self and sad heart,

Rustling leaves, blinding sunlight

Frightening contrast

Participating in this prompt

Sad entry

“…Do not by any means destroy yourself, for if you live you may yet have good fortune. But, all the dead are dead alike.” -CS Lewis

I just finished sending a personal project I did to cheer up a friend who said that she’s worried that her depression will kick in while she’s at her favorite boy group’s concert. I want to cheer her up and let her enjoy the event because I hate to think that she’ll be robbed of her chance because of that horrible illness.

I love doing simple artsy projects for friends and I love it when they appreciate things.

But I still feel so so so sad.

I was reading a reddit comment of a suicidal guy who managed to get out of the hell hole and turn his life around. He posted this quote from C.S. Lewis: “…Do not by any means destroy yourself, for if you live you may yet have good fortune. But, all the dead are dead alike.” and I just cried and cried for a good 15 minutes. It was weird, I was okay at first but reading that line made my heart feel so hollow beyond words. I’ve yet to consult if I have any mental illness because seriously, this horrible deadness is eating me alive and making me miserable.

I’m actually hesitant to visit a doctor because I feel so “privileged” to be sick. I have normal and loving family, a considerable amount of good friends, an awesome boyfriend, but something’s still bothering me for the longest time.

Oh well, I don’t wanna rant here about this issue, so yeah~

No brain activity

Tito Sotto’s brain

caged in misogyny and

quite non-functional
Hello, hello. In our local news, our dear senator Tito Sotto just “joked” about single mothers, that in street language, they’re just “na-ano lang” or “just got..you know..” (haha, what a weird translation, but god, he is so ridiculous  I wonder why aliens haven’t abducted him yet). This is an FB post regarding the matter. I wonder what shitload of a trainwreck is his thoughts.
Participating in this prompt

Unwanted apprenticeship

Most of the time, we are not the ones who choose what apprenticeship we take. We don’t notice it, but the world has a funny, unique, and cruel way of assigning us under certain people.

Family, for one, is an inevitable and unavoidable apprenticeship. We don’t get to choose our parents and families, and we’re bound to learn and get destroyed by them at certain times. We learn in different and subtle ways. For example,  the crashing of dishes means one has to go upstairs and wait for the exchange of shouts to subside. Forced smiles and courtesy laughs in the presence of uncomfortable company teach pleasantries and patience. Your mom’s tear-streaked face is a warning what kind of person you shouldn’t marry. Gossiping during family gatherings and knowing how rude words can be teach you not to judge others harshly. Shutting up and being a mindless robot in the presence of him guarantees absence of another sarcastic comment and snide remarks.

There are lessons we can’t avoid, there really lessons that we’d rather not learn, but we learn it anyway, there are lessons that we hope to discover in a nicer way, but they come in the most horrible forms. We have so many unwanted apprenticeships that we are forced to take and we have no choice but to face it. I don’t know how to end this, but let’s just summarize it this way: these lessons sucked and we’re hoping it wouldn’t tomorrow.

Participating in this prompt